There is always be a goodbye in every hello

Written by Mega Ai

In this early morning, I wasn’t in my bed. Today isn’t like usual. I was in the airport to say goodbye to my friends. Well, it’s not the first time; but still, I’m not getting used to with goodbye, never and never.

Today, two of my friends are leaving from my country to continue their other life and to pursue their dreams. Yeah, I feel loss like many previous goodbyes. But I realize that every single thing exist above the earth has to have two contrary poles. So, every hello must have a goodbye. Every meeting must have a farewell. That’s a life should be, right?

You know it reminds me about the history of this friendship. It’s been two years since the first time I know the first people from Cambodia. From the first people I know, I know the other friends. The time they were leaving is the time some new friends were coming. It happened year by year. Yeah, it’s totally the same like today. They are leaving yet new friends are coming. However, I didn’t stop my friendship even though they were leaving, I continue within the new people. My friendship is still going even though people keep coming and go. Our togetherness still exists until now anyway. Well, that’s what I called as an endless friendship.

It doesn’t matter when we have to say goodbye since we’re gonna have another hello for every friendship. ^_^

two of my cambodian friends are leaving from indonesia,,, 😦


Short Journey, yet Memorable

Written by Mega Ai

It was Friday, the last day of the school in a week. A day in which students could feel relieve after the weekdays of the school with so many materials to read, so many home works to do, and sometimes quizzes in the class. We, students, especially exchange student like me who will just study in Daejeon for only one semester, always comes up with a plan in almost every week. The plan could be travelling around Daejeon, travelling outside Daejeon, visiting international community center, visiting orphanage, events, and festivals or maybe just staying in the dormitory for the whole day to surf the world of cyber, internet. Well, last week end was the time to travel outside Daejeon. Powerful Pohang and Dynamic Busan were being a part of my journey.

Well, it was quite-cold weather in the evening; I, one friend from the same country with me, Indonesia, and one friend from Kazakhstan were sitting together in a bench, we are waiting for the bus to go to Pohang, where my Korean friend lives. Anyway, I’ve been living in Daejeon for approximately two months. I am getting used to with almost everything here, such as the weather, the food, the people, the environment, and others. But still, I found my feeling a bit nervous at that time. You know why? In the next couple hours, I would meet a family of my Korean friend. I was a bit afraid about how to behave to his parent while spending the night in their house.

Arrived Pohang, we went to my friend’s house directly. We were greeted by a beautiful lady with her sincere smile. “Annyong haseyo,” I said it while bowing to my friend’s mother. This bowing culture, I appreciate it very much. It really shows your respect to the people.

I came into the house, stepped the warm wood floor, and went to the main room. This house was so nice and it was dominant with wood. I saw a very ancient telephone near the television and it was working anyway. I saw a classic clock on the wall. That was perfect. After having a very nice conversation with everyone, we went to bed in one of the warm bedroom.

In the morning when I woke up, I remember my professor said, “Think about what makes you smile when you wake up in the morning”. Now I had the answer, every single joy which is given by the people around me is the thing that makes me smile when I woke up in the morning.

My friend’s mother had prepared us a very yummy breakfast. One of the menus was bulgogi (beef), the best Korean food ever for me. And one thing never left by Korean people while having meals is kimchi and green vegetables. They have a healthy food culture.

Spending one night with a Korean family maybe is not enough to really understand the culture in a family. But I do feel fortunate to have the chance to live with this very nice family even just in a short time. Even though I didn’t talk a lot with his parents since different language becomes a matter, I could feel the warmth of this family. They treated us like their own family while it was the first time we met.

After having a fabulous breakfast together, we went to visit one of the temples in Pohang. It was clean and well maintained, like in the other places too. Enough going around with the temple, we went to Busan directly.

Arrived Busan, we went to Haeundae and Gwangalli beach. We were enjoying the beach, enjoying the longest bridge in South Korea (Gwanga Bridge), walking around the beach, playing around with the sands, taking pictures, and at the end, we were walking around the street of the city. This city was very clean and organized. Moreover, the public transportation available made us easier to move. We were using taxi, subway, and bus to move in this city. It was so easy!

I really enjoyed the temple, the beaches, and the city, but more than those places, I enjoyed the togetherness between me, my Indonesian friend, Korean friend, and Kazakhstan friend. We came from different country with different culture but we were enjoying our journey together though.

Alright, that’s my journey, it was only one night, it was so short, yet it was so memorable.

having lunch together in busan, south korea,,, ;)

having lunch together in busan, south korea,,, 😉

We Need to Understand Our Friendship

Written by Mega Ai

We go hanging out together. We study together. We share our happiness and sadness. We do many things together. That’s what I am doing with my best friends. Inspired from our friendship, I am going to write about this topic in this occasion. Another reason why I am going to write about friendship is just sometimes I found people dot really appreciate their friendship, whereas, friendship is such kind of a valuable relationship between human being which is needed to be kept or saved. And it goes in line with our Islamic teaching about silaturahmi and to know each other. In the Al-Qur’an was stated in surat Al-Hujuraat: 13.
يا أيها الناس إنا خلقناكم من ذكر وأنثى وجعلناكم شعوبا وقبائل لتعارفوا إن أكرمكم عند الله أتقاكم إن الله عليم خبير
The meaning of this verse is “O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise (each other). Verily the most honored of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).”

Now first of all, I will describe what friendship is. Based on … friendship is an in-depth relationship combining trust, honesty, support, communication, loyalty, and empathy between two or more people. The first value of friendship is trust. It means that in a friendship, we need to believe each other. Even though it does not mean that all the things must be shared. There must be some secrets that anybody and even our close friends do not to know. For instance is just like secrets about our business, our sweetheart (spouse) behavior, secret that endanger the other people, family’s scandal, and others. The second value of friendship is honesty. We have to tell the truth even sometimes it’s hurt. But as long as it is for the goodness, that’s alright. The third value is support; we need to support each other, of course in goodness or good things, not in bad things. Remember amar ma’ruf nahi munkar, right?
The fourth value is communication. Communication is very important to keep our friendship; therefore, we need to always keep in touch or keep contact. The fifth value is loyalty. Did you ever hear a proverb which said “If you got new friends, do not ever leave your old friends,”? This proverb is applied in this value. The last value is empathy. Empathy is an ability to understand someone point of view and feel the same like other people feel. Those are the value which is at least consisted in a friendship.
Well, don’t you realize that actually friendship has a big role in our life? Yes, a friendship has role to build our individual personality, such as our thinking, our opinion, our point view, and others. If we have good friends, they will give us a good influence, but if we have not-good friends, they will give us a not-good influence too. Maybe you are wondering why, it is because we live with our friends, we share almost everything with them, and realize it or not their opinion will influence us.
Based on a book entitled “When Friendship Hurts” authored by James, there are ten categories which are included in toxic friends that’s better to be avoided. First is the User this person only has friends as long as they can use us for some goals of their own, they just exploit us. Second is the Betrayer, they often betray us, for instance is telling our secret to the other body. The third is the Promise Breaker. They always disappointed us. They rarely do what they say they will do. If you have a promise, this kind of people is often no-show. Fourth is the Self-Absorbed. They are egoist, they can’t think about you, they are too busy thinking of themselves, and they never have time to listen to you. Fifth is the Controller. They dominate our friendship, they control everything they want. Sixth is the Judge. They are a Fault Finder, they are too judgmental, and too critical; this kind of friend can erode our self-esteem. We can rarely do anything completely right in their perspectives. Seventh is the Competitor. This kind friend is always wanted to be looked “one level up.” Although some competitiveness is normal in friendships, but if it is too much, it’s not worth for our friendship. Moreover, the tendency of this kind of friends is they want everything that we have. Eighth, the Downer, they always sad, pessimist, no spirit, and then it give negative influence to you. Ninth, the Interloper, they want to know all the things about you. And last is the Taker. They often borrow your things but never bring it back.
We leave them if we can’t really help them to change their bad habit/bad behavior. But if we can change them to be the good one, that is better and stay with them.
We have talked about a toxic friend. Now it’s time to talk about a good friend. Good friends are someone who accepts you as you are. They receive your weakness; they don’t care about property, status, or offspring, and so on. They believe in you; they will listen to your words, they will share their joy and sorrow with you. They forgive your mistakes; even it’s a big mistake, they willing to give you a chance to correct your mistakes. They inspire you to be the best you can be; they always support you, and never jealous to your success. They help you in the goodness as far as they can really help you, and they help you without rewards. They raise your spirit. When you’re down, they will cheer you up and always support you. They understand you; tolerance to you, they know you like/want and they know you don’t like/don’t want without you tell them. They can accept your weakness; they know your joy and sorrow without you tell them, even sometimes, they know you more than you know yourself. They tell you the truth when you need it. Even it hurts for you, but they still do it for your goodness. They never judges; they never blame and give you punishment. They explain things you don’t understand. They will always answer your question sincerely about everything as far as they are able to answer it.
Based on the hadith from H.R Al-Hakim, “The best friend in the side of Allah is the best people toward their friends and the best neighbor in the side of Allah is the best people toward their neighbor.” Therefore, let’s us be a good friend for our friends.

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